So what was this great deal that led this cheap mo’fo inside? It was a 50% off on all pizzas! Awesome, right? So it’s half off, I love pizza, so why did I come out so disappointed? Was it a crappy deal? Did the food suck? Short answer would be yes2. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
When we were about to order, the guys at Gotti’s hit us with this line: “Only 1 pizza is allowed to be 50% for a party of 3.“ Way to put in the fine print at the last minute, fuckers! False advertising really is the worst.
The pasta dish that we ordered was a Sundried Tomato Pesto3. There were only a few small chunks of sundried tomatoes and a few basil leaves. Basically, extremely bland pasta that it seemed like eating pasta with no sauce. To be fair, pasta was cooked al dente, which is probably the only thing they got right here. It was so bland, we chose not to finish it and re-cook it at home. Suffice to say, we did a much better job than these assholes.
First pizza: Mi Mamma’s Quattro Formaggi, which is your cheesy way of saying 4-cheese pizza. Get it4? The pizza was dry, like a bad (and really small) version of the pizza at Cibo. Really nothing special and not worth the 295 we were about to pay.
Second (and free) pizza was the Triple Sausage, which has bits of Schublig, Hungarian, and their homemade Italian sausage. It was at least better than the Quattro Formaggi, if only slightly. It did help that this was the pizza we asked to slash 50% off.
The only good thing about their pizzas is their crust. It stays fresh for quite some time. Usually pizza crusts go hard that it’s almost inedible.
Overall, it’s terrible. Pizza wasn’t good and the pasta was unavoidably bland. The kicker was really the false advertising, but I’m glad we got the last laugh. They ended up charging us 50% for both pizzas. So either the waiters were just fucking with us or they fucked up their own charging. I won’t be surprised with either, but I won’t be feeling guilty about this anytime soon.